Back in 2018, I was anticipating retirement from my career in tech. I’d worked for nearly 30 years in Silicon Valley as a UNIX/Linux IT tech. It was an insanely stressful career. I’d worked at 17 different companies over that time, 12 of which no longer exist. I was laid off 6 different times. One company laid me off on a Tuesday, the bank seized the company on Friday and my final check bounced. At age 67 in 2018, I was looking forward to retirement, but was trying to figure out what to do next.
I can’t speak for other IT guys, but for me, what I loved about the work was when someone came to me with a problem that was beyond them. It was often that I’d never seen before and had no idea how to fix. I’d analyze the problem, produce a solution and fix, and they said, “Thank you.” That made my day. I’ve always seen myself in the context of being part of something larger than myself and wanting to make a difference. Helping people address problems for which none of us knew the answers to seemed like the logical next step.
Before I enrolled in seminary, I interviewed instructors and graduates of the program. One woman was the resident chaplain at a retirement community. Many of the residents were in their 80s and had been church goers all their lives, but now that they were clearly nearing the end of this lifetime, they were facing the Big Questions they’d spent a whole lifetime avoiding. In the quiet, they would tell the chaplain that they really didn’t know if they believed in God. My own father-in-law had been a church goer all his life, but in his last years, declared that he didn’t believe in God, and he was angry that he was going to die.
It was in the face of this that I have felt called to speak to people facing these existential questions. I approach the Great Mystery of God with an engineer’s view. We IT guys are problem solvers. The way you work a problem, is to take it apart. If you want to fix a broken toaster, you have to take it apart, figure out how it is supposed to work, examine what you have, fix whatever parts are broken, reassemble and test. The Great Mystery of God is a little more complicated, but not really. A lot has to do with how you define the problem.
It is the nature of Life to want to continue living. So when people are approaching end-of-life, it is understandable that people are confused and might be desperate to find purpose and meaning. The evidence is right there in front of us. At end-of-life, when I am lying there, weary of suffering, all that matters will be those who I have loved and who love me. I’ll be done worrying about the bills to be paid, the lawn that needs to be mowed, politics, or any of the many distractions our lives are filled with. I’m doing that fade-to-black and all that matters to me is love.
All that matters is love. What more evidence do you need?! The religions of the world have scripture filled with theology, things that demand and/or prohibit certain behaviors, and dire warnings for those who dare to break the rules. But at that moment of fade-to-black, all that’s there is: you, love and the Ultimate Reality.
For some, their love is for a life partner, family members and friends. For some, it is the work they have devoted themselves to. Soldiers in battle who put themselves in harm’s way do so because they live with the purpose and responsibility they have accepted to their mission and to their comrades in arms. The soldier who leaps on the explosive to shield their squad mates hasn’t the time to think about all the people they’ve loved, but they are still operating out of love as their essential identity.
All that matters is love. We sing songs about it. We spend our lives in pursuit of it. We give everything for it. All that matters is love, and this tells us so very much! What more do you really need to know?
The religions of the world each have some core idea from which everything else flows.
Taoist thought is rooted in the idea that everything has its nature. This includes the universe as a whole, as well as all of those things which inhabit the universe. We each have our nature, as do all of the animals. Whether you’re talking about money, political power, athletics, the ocean, the wind, flying an airplane, the sun, warfare, the weather or how a charcoal BBQ works, everything has its nature. We live best and accomplish the most when we recognize this and live in the flow of nature.
Buddhist thought is succinctly expressed in the Four Noble Truths. When you accept these truths, you get to choose whether, and how much to suffer.
Sikhism teaches the oneness of God and humanity. It preaches this belief through equality, selfless service, meditation and devotion.
Hinduism teaches that there is an Ultimate Reality and that each individual’s soul, which they call the Atman, is not separate from this Ultimate Reality, but is in essence, one with it.
Both Islam and Judaism stress the oneness of God and the need to be obedient to God’s will. Christianity includes this, along with the notion that faith in Jesus, as the Son of God, is the means to salvation. The underlying foundation for all three of the Abrahamic religions is the notion of sin.
Each religion brings with it a code of behavior and a demand that the individual adhere to it. But let’s go back to the elderly in the retirement community facing end-of-life. The reason they question their belief in God is that beyond a religious cleric quoting scripture, they don’t actually have much evidence that brings clarity and truth to them.
They can attend Christian services for a lifetime, hearing the Good News of Jesus as savior, and yet still question the belief. I suggest that belief is faith without evidence, so who is to know? I offer that there is evidence if you are willing to look for it. The hard part is that evidence is a truth unto itself and doesn’t have to be in the form one expects it.
For me, I like the Taoist notion that we each have our own nature. It is our nature to want to be in control of our lives and to want to live them as we wish. It is our nature as teenagers to have some arrogance about us, thinking we know better. How many people do you know who happily lived a whole lifetime with their childhood sweetheart? It is our nature to want romantic involvement, have difficulty with it, sometimes learn from it, make new mistakes, and try again. Or perhaps not, if we feel romance is impossible to get right.
We all have experiences that teach us about life. Without experience, we have no evidence, but just theory. Religious scripture is only theory until there is personal experience. The problem with religions is that they proclaim their scripture as fact without proof. Some use the greatest possible fear as a means to demand obedience.
I submit that there is wisdom and truth to be found in any religion and any scripture. But a truth is true because it is true, not because it is in scripture. Red is red, because it is red.
If you want spiritual freedom, then you have to take responsibility for it. Truth really will make you free.
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I feel that spirituality has to help us in our daily lives, otherwise it’s just so much window dressing and posturing. It should be applied to the most difficult subjects.
It finally got through my thick skull that you really ARE a reverend. Now I really believe it. I’m glad you are because your head is honestly and truly on straight. I think you are oh so right. Honestly though, I think the things we suffer bring love even further to the forefront. And with the realization that love is all important comes hope. Thank you for reminding us of love. These days, following electronic media often brings with it a sense of despair and the futility of all that we do. One forgets what makes it all worthwhile. Love…. All you need is love…..
Good morning Russ,
Thank you for this reminder about love. As we grow and move from duality to non-duality, the whole construct of love matures, moves beyond our limited view/perception and includes everything.
One of my favorite books is The Lesson, a Fable for Our Time by Carol Lynn Pearson; Illustrated by Kathleen Peterson. It is a book for adults even though it looks like a children's book. It is a story about our life, what it presents, how we respond/deny, and leads us to the key lesson: the only things that really matters in life is....how much did you love? This is the main problem in our life that matters at the end of life.
One of my favorite quotes is: "Faith is believing in advance that which only makes sense in reverse. Hope empowers us. Love drives us in the journey." Aho!
May you be well, Russ, and live a glorious life of loving