I do a fair number of beach weddings and ceremonies of marriage vow renewal here in Hawaii. One Hawaiian tradition I like to do is to help the couple put together a hoʻokupu gratitude offering. This is not some prayer to an imagined volcano god or such. Instead Hawaiian spirituality is rooted in gratitude to the land and the ocean as the source of life. The point of ritual is to bring your own focus and attention to that which is truly important - love and life, and where they come from.
Hoʻokupu is a small bundle of ti leaves with various things inside as an offering of gratitude to the land. Suitable things include:
Sea Salt, symbolizing purification and blessing
Ginger, symbolizing clarity and prosperity
Coconut, symbolizing connection to family and the ancestors
Taro, representing the cycle of life, sustenance and interconnectedness
Kukui nut, symbolizing light, knowledge and protection
Seaweed, symbolizing the ocean, safeguarding the relationship between the land and the ocean
Ulu (breadfruit), a traditional Hawaiian staple, symbolizing prosperity and food security
Tumeric, believed to cleanse both spiritually and physically
These offerings come from the land and sea that give and sustain life for people here in Hawaii. We recognize and are thankful for the gifts that life has given us by offering gifts back to the land and sea.
The most important thing to offer is one’s intent for respect and gratitude to the land. One local kumu writes:
"The most appropriate offering that any person can make can be made without any tangible item being left behind. The most perfect offering is one’s aloha (love), ha (breath), and ʻolelo (speech). To love a place, and breathe out that love in the form of a spoken promise to cherish and protect it, that is the most perfect offering.
What may be the best thing for you to bring would be a simple hand written note, folded up, that expresses your gratitude for the beauty and aloha that Hawaii has given you. We can put that in the bundle along with any other items you wish to be included. Your word and aloha are the most precious things you can give back to the land."
After the ceremony is complete, the couple takes the offering to a place that speaks to their heart and leaves it there. As you drive around the island and you’ll see these offerings left at Kilaeua volcano (for Pele), roadside or sometimes on cliffs overlooking the ocean.
Many times, people engage in rituals or prayers which ask for blessings, or divine gifts. The hoʻokupu ritual does none of that, and instead is solely an act of gratitude. It takes real intent and purpose to do this. Ritual has the greatest impact if it done is to change yourself, instead of attempting to influence anything outside of you.
In the USA there is an annual tradition called Thanksgiving. It is a time when families and friends gather, typically at a bountiful meal with far more to eat than anyone needs. People talk about what they've been doing through the year, places they've visited and plans they have in mind. At some point, the conversation comes around to talking about what people are grateful for, and everyone has to say something. With a little bit of effort, people come up with some sort of excuse as to why they are grateful. Someone will always say they are grateful for the dessert they are about to have.
Gratitude and joy are a kind of feedback loop. Something unexpected that brings joy, brings along with it gratitude. It enables joy to be found in the little things, and in finding that joy, gratitude is reinforced.
Ritual's value has everything to do with the effort and intent put into it. Making a hoʻokupu is not a casual thing to do. Intent is the key. The intent of the ritual is to not only to express gratitude, but more importantly, to feel it, and in so doing, change yourself. You cannot truly express gratitude without first doing it from joy.
My old trumpet teacher gave me some excellent advice regarding playing a solo in front of an audience. He said I could either put my attention on the music I was playing and feeling, or I could put my attention on worrying about what the audience was thinking about my performance. I could only do one or the other.
Attention works the same way with regards to gratitude and desire. Everyone has things that offer joy in their lives. We have friendships, shared humor, food we enjoy eating, music to listen to, memories of good times, small comforts, and of course, beauty that surrounds us. Life also brings no shortage of disappointments, fears, longings, unrealized desires that result in a feeling of emptiness and want. We can pay attention to one or the other, but not both.
I invite you to create your own gratitude rituals. But don't do them because you think you should. There is no “supposed to” in the spiritual path. Nobody is ever grateful because someone tells them they should be grateful. Every action you take has a consequence, including any ritual practice you might engage in. Your rituals can be little things during your day, or they can be more tangible like the hoʻokupu.
Create a gratitude ritual practice because it has a consequence that you desire, instead of what someone else tells you to do. Then you become the power that moves you on your spiritual journey. Do it with intent. This is potent magic.
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I feel that spirituality has to help us in our daily lives, otherwise it’s just so much window dressing and posturing. It should be applied to the most difficult subjects.
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Russ, Great message, writing, and powerful words to practice. Thank you